Here's to lovers everywhere! Best wishes to you and the
one you love! Happy Valentine's Day to you and your
partner... your significant other... your
sweetheart... your darling... your soulmate...
your life's companion... your forever friend!
"We love
because it's the only true adventure."
-Nikki
Giovanni
MESSAGES OF LOVE
Valentine's
Day Message from HRC
Recently, the Human Rights Campaign
featured a special slideshow on their website to commemorate
Valentine's Day. The limited edition slideshow presented
a heartwarming collection of mini stories that carried a
theme...
Our love matters. Here are some
excerpts...
My love matters because I have what
most want: A strong magnetic bond. A bond that holds us through
trying times. A crazy love. A love I want to spend every moment
with.
Being part of a family is one
of the greatest gifts we could have received. The love we share
for each other is hard to put into words.
Because we have proven that
family values count with same sex couples and our daughter loves
us unconditionally.
The purest kind of love - the
kind of love that fulfills, inspires and raises individuals to
their greatest potential in a selfless and giving way - is the
kind of love that matters. OUR love matters.
I can't believe how lucky I am to
have found you... I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with
you.
Love matters because it is magical.
It keeps you going when you feel like you can't go anymore. It
makes you strive to be the best that you can be and to
accomplish things that nothing else can motivate you to do.
Every woman dreams that she will be
lucky enough to fall in love with her best friend...
Why our love matters? Because it
changes the world. Our love is an expression of the divinity
within each of us...the light in me honors the light in her. The
more we let that light shine, the stronger our love grows.
Our love matters because there is only one true happiness in
life, to love and be loved. I am thankful to share my life with
my partner. His love and support means the world to me.
Our love matters because LOVE MATTERS!
WHAT EVERY COUPLE
WANTS
Love, Trust
and Commitment
View these three
delightful video shorts for a playful yet poignant look at the
things that make a relationship work... love... trust...
commitment...
Click Here for Comment on
Love
Click Here for Comment on
Trust
Click Here for Comment on
Commitment
"I met a young man who was wounded in love,
I met another man who was wounded in hatred."
-Bob Dylan
WHO'S IN LOVE?
Famous Gay
& Lesbian Couples
Elton John & David
Furnish
George Takei &
Brad Altman
Neil Patrick
Harris & David Burtka
TR Knight & Mark Cornelson
Ellen Degeneres &
Portia DeRossi
Melissa Etheridge & Tammy Lynn Michaels
Lily Tomlin & Jane Wagner
WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is
Insane... Really
Finally there is
scientific validation for the insanity one feels when we fall in
love. Researchers have discovered that the brain's chemistry of
infatuation is akin to mental illness, which gives new meaning
to the phrase "falling madly in love."
The research
findings, reported in the February issue of National Geographic,
also found that the cocktail of brain chemicals that spark
romance are not the same as the ones that foster long-term
commitments. So as we celebrate Valentine's Day, we might want
to think (which is almost impossible when one's brain is flooded
with the delirium of passion) about the longer-term consequences
of our libidinous desires.
Those who have
felt the unrelenting craziness of passionate love know that
reason and reality fly out the window once one's true love
enters the scene. Work, bill paying, responsibilities, sleep -
even getting regular food - can all fall apart, and we find we
have unlimited energies to devote to our beloved. The good news
is that the brain has a built in protection mechanism. The
insanity doesn't last.
Researchers found
that the brains of people in love respond similarly to when it
gets a surge of dopamine. Cocaine users describe an increasing
tolerance for the drug as time goes by, and a need for more and
more of a fix, and lovers' brains do the same thing. After a
while the high just wears off. Although the loss of the rush can
be a letdown, for those who need to hold down a job and keep the
utilities on, it is probably a good thing.
That is not to say
that passionate love cannot morph into long-term happiness. Many
couples in the studies reported that their first blush of
passion was overwhelming, but that as time went on the
irresistible urge to bed each other became tempered by another
desire, to talk to each other and spend time having fun together
in other ways. The relationships that stand the test of time are
the ones in which the lovers discover that they actually like
each other, as well as drive each other mad with desire.
As each of you
celebrate this day of love, we encourage you to enjoy the
unquenchable thirst that our brain chemistry provides when we
find the one that turns us into that lunatic we hardly recognize
as ourselves. Relax and enjoy it. It should be a relief to know
that you are not permanently insane, just crazy in love.
And if you're
lucky in love too, the one that drives you mad between the
sheets will be the same person that you like talk to across the
dinner table. We hope you enjoy this Special Love and Romance
issue of Between The Lines and we wish all of you a Happy
Valentine's Day!
Originally printed
in PrideSource 2/9/2006
(Issue 1406 - Between The Lines News)
ART OF LESBIAN DATING
Question & Answer
by Chelsea Kaplan
Match.com's
Happen Magazine
Q: What's one of the trickiest
aspects of the lesbian dating scene?
A: One of the things that I hear ladies
talking about the most is how both parties
are afraid to be the aggressor. We were all
raised with, um, let's see -- zero
vocabulary for initiating sex. In fact, for
the most part I'd say that those of us
raised female are taught that the only way
to get dates is to flirt and be coy and hope
someone comes along and demands that you go
out with them. It's easy with guys; you
pretty much just have to stand there and
someone will come along and start hustling
you for a date. I'm not saying this never
happens with girls, but it's rare. If you
want to be successful with the ladies you
gotta learn to make a move.
Q: How can a woman tell by another
woman's body language if she's available and
interested?
A: If she's out and by herself, she probably
doesn't really want to be alone -- if she
did she'd stay home. It's also promising if
she's at a table of girls who all seem to be
friends. Go ahead and approach her. Ask her
a simple question. Check her out in a way
that makes her feel hot but don't go
overboard or it will seem like you just got
out of jail. If she leans into you when you
talk to her, it's a sign she's interested.
If she likes you, she will encourage you to
pay attention to her. She'll ask you to join
her, she'll laugh at your jokes, and she'll
listen to you.
Q: OK, so what's the next step?
A: I always recommend flattering the object
of your attention. Compliment her
appearance, her intelligence, her singing
voice or whatever it is you notice about
her. A long, slow glance and a sweet smile
will always get someone's attention.
Approach with confidence and ask a girl
you're interested in if you can buy her a
drink. Try asking her to dance with you or
to join you at your table. Listen to her as
she speaks, and ask her questions about
herself. Whatever you choose, don't ogle her
-- you'll seem like a pervert.
Q: How do you deal with your
advances being rejected?
A: Being out in the dating world means
occasionally facing rejection. If your
self-esteem is intact, rejection won't
register as much more than a tiny blip on
your radar. Reminding yourself on a regular
basis that you are attractive and worthwhile
can help you start believing it about
yourself. Remind yourself as often as you
can that you are desirable, but keep in mind
that doing so doesn't mean that every person
will desire you.
Q: What are some of the best and
worst places to meet other women?
A: You know where we meet each other?
Through other dykes. For one thing, we
recycle exes. Another thing is we all know
each other, so we're good at fixing up
friends with friends. If you are single and
looking, make it known. Tell everyone you
know that you want to meet someone. Go to
parties or throw a party and tell all your
friends that they have to bring along one
person you don't know. Get out, get
involved. Turn your flirt on and smile at
every pretty girl you see.
Joining an activity group of some kind
expands your social circle dramatically.
Start dropping in on your friend's book-club
meetings or get involved with a film
festival. You'll meet new people to whom you
may be attracted, and you'll also have
access to all the people your new friends
know, and you may find that you like one of
them.
Check out queer film festivals, erotica
readings, art openings, yoga, the gym, dance
clubs, bars, the library, Pride festivals,
activist groups, feminist organizations,
LGBT organizations (especially good if
you're just out), or any queer-sponsored
event.
Q: OK, and the worst places?
A: In my opinion, the worst place to meet
women are at giant drunken lesbian events
like Dinah Shore. You might meet someone,
sure, but she might not remember you the
next day.
Chelsea Kaplan is Deputy Editor of
thefamilygroove.com and regularly appears as
a guest on XM Radio's "Broad Minded"
and WBAL Baltimore's "The Shari Elliker
Show." Her blog, "I'm
Somebody's Mother?" can be found at
www.chelseakaplan.com.
